Confusing Vocal Tone
The art of communication isn’t so easily mastered, because in reality, communication can be tricky and become a source of misunderstanding and conflicts. If someone has ever told you, “It wasn’t what you said, but how you said it,” your listener is telling you that you’ve just communicated a lot more than just the words. Tone of voice is often a source of hurt feelings and miscommunications because our tone communicates to others what we’re feeling when we say things. Here are a few ways to self-monitor your vocal tone:
- First of all, be intentional about considering the perception you want your listener(s) to have of you during a conversation. What’s important to you about the way in which you sound? Friendly? Calm? Understanding? Or maybe it is a situation that you want to convey disappointment. What do those adjectives sound like? For example, how do you know when someone sounds friendly?
- Become aware of the emotion you are feeling when you speak. Perhaps you notice that you feel irritated but you know it’s not appropriate to sound that way. Your awareness of your emotion will be very important when you are trying to convey a different perception than what you are feeling.
- When someone tells you “it wasn’t what you said, but how you said,” don’t ignore feedback or become defensive. You are receiving valuable information about your sound that may need adjustment in order to make changes and ultimately influence other people. Even if that wasn’t your intention, go back to #2 and try to recall the way you were feeling at the time when you were speaking. Most importantly, don’t invalidate or brush aside/ignore the person who gave you this feedback.
Does your tone of voice match the professional image you wish to portray? Here are some common vocal tones to watch out for that may not portray your leadership style: sarcasm, anger/irritation, defensiveness, impatience, or lack of energy/enthusiasm. Think about each of these words and try to identify the speech, language or voice characteristic that “gives it away” when you portray one of those emotions.
For business leaders, tone of voice is crucial for team dynamics, influencing others and business productivity. It’s common to have a false impression of what your vocal tone is at given moments. If you are interested in learning more about your tone, you can record yourself on a business call or in a meeting to play back later and analyze how you sound and how you came across to your listeners. Additionally, you can ask your colleagues for feedback about what your vocal tone sounded like to them. To even further increase your skill set, try to identify the speech sound and emotion of others.
Do you struggle knowing which characteristics of speech, language and voice contribute positively or negatively to the way in which you sound? Did you know that there are 12 characteristics that can be manipulated to give you the exact sound that you desire? We created a free webinar about this topic. Register here for the Step-by-Step Voice Makeover. Don’t let your vocal tone hold you back. Take advantage of this free resource!
Tags: credibility, executive leaders speaking, tone of voice, vocal tone, voice branding